Notes from a Recovering Self-Neglecter

I am a chronic failure at self-care. The roots stem from watching my mom sacrifice herself physically, mentally, and emotionally my entire life. I’ve always admired her tireless efforts for family, friends, and strangers alike. Because she is my ultimate hero, I’ve striven to emulate her. Sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to parse our parents into the good and the “bad.”

My Mom is also the first person to get after me about not taking care of myself. She reminds me not to wait half a decade to buy a new bra. She scolds me when I don’t eat enough or neglect to monitor my diabetes. She encourages me to splurge on a new pair of shoes “just because.” My husband, my sister, and my best friends give me hard time about not being kind to myself so….

Learning to treat ourselves lovingly may at first feel like a dangerous experiment.

– Sharon Salzberg

In order to be the best version of myself for myself and for my family, I’ve resolved to stop thinking of self-care as a narcissistic, weak person’s “get out of work free card,” and embrace a new way of living. Haha yep. That’s kind of what I thought every time I heard the phrase self-care. Silly me.

I imagine I will regress more than I succeed at first, but recently I had a win, so I am sharing my victory with you in hopes that you might be inspired to do the same.


If I don’t take care of myself, how can I teach my daughter to do that as she gets older? We were ballerinas for Halloween. I promise I don’t go around like that every day.

If I don’t take care of myself, how can I teach my daughter to do that as she gets older? We were ballerinas for Halloween. I promise I don’t go around like that every day.

I cleaned the living room and ignored the rest of my filthy house. This was a pretty big moment for me. Since I am a stay at home mom/small business owner, when I have time to clean I usually try to get it all clean!

I chose not to feel guilty when my husband offered to take our daughter out of the house for a few hours. Considering how much they enjoy spending time together, it’s crazy that I would ever feel guilty, but there it is. Normally when they go out I hunker down and get work done.

Heading out on their daddy/daughter date.

Heading out on their daddy/daughter date.

Being outdoors energizes and restores my soul Every. Single. Time. I also love reading, which I never make time to do. So I laid in my hammock and read a few chapters of A Flexible Faith. The perfect combo to make my contentment barometer rise.

On a side note, this book is amazing! I abhor anything that smacks of theology, but it is an interesting, thought provoking, and easy read.

On a side note, this book is amazing! I abhor anything that smacks of theology, but it is an interesting, thought provoking, and easy read.

You know those tiny “to do” things that you don’t do, but manage to make you feel like a horrible failure every time you see them? Yep, so I repotted some succulents that have been sad and struggling on my kitchen windowsill for months! It took me twenty minutes, and did a world of good for my mental well being. Also more time outside, so win win.

These bowls belonged to my Nanna and have been gathering dust in the basement, so extra happiness having them serving a purpose now. Someday I’ll blog about my Nanna.

These bowls belonged to my Nanna and have been gathering dust in the basement, so extra happiness having them serving a purpose now. Someday I’ll blog about my Nanna.

Last, but certainly not least, I took the time to open my computer and write this blog. I love to write, but I have a hard time carving out time for personal writing when there is a never-ending stream of things that seem way more important. Here’s to many more successes on this journey. I’d love to hear about your self-care experiences!